- friend about my crushes: he's old enough to be your father
- me: BUT HE IS NOT MY FATHER
- Cashier: What size drink would you like?
- Me: Five inches.
- Cashier: sorry what size is that?
- Me: So many.
- Cashier: what
- Me: Ten.
i’m all for boys wearing makeup mostly because if more of them got into it there’d be a bigger market and it wouldn’t cost $25 for an eyeshadow primer anymore
i can’t wait to go into the makeup aisle to get the latest man-color of guyshadow that comes in containers shaped like bullets and footballs
"Bruh I just went to sephora and got the sickest shade of eyeshadow"
"Sick dude what’s it called"
"Monster truck gas fumes"
I like food. Movies. Equality. Squids. Books. Stuff.
See how much fun I am?
Fucking be my friend.